It's more than a musical

This post has been a long time coming, and I am glad that it has taken me so long to write, as I now get to include more insights from this past year as one of the Kids Music and Arts Co-Directors at our church.  Really I have been working with out church's children's music programs since my son was in kindergarten, and he is now in the 5th grade, so 6 years now.  It's hard to believe that it has been that long.  For my first two years I helped as a volunteer, then the 3rd year, the program had grown so much that our pastor hired my friend and me to take it on as a part-time position with the church.

We both grew up with musical backgrounds and educational backgrounds working with children, so it was a great fit.  Our first couple years were merely survival.  In the fall, it was making sure the kids stayed focused during the hour we had them each week, so the Christmas musical would be at least enjoyable for the parents that attended.  In the spring, we tried to teach the kids more about music basics, different instruments, and a few art projects.  We developed relationships with returning kids, and our program continued to grow.

After year 4, we seemed to hit a stride, but I started to feel a push to make it more than just music and arts.  Yes the kids were singing about Jesus and God, but were they just singing or really learning?  My co-director and I were in the same mindset because when we started planning out the new year, we brainstormed way to teach the kids beyond words and choreography.  We wanted them to know the backgrounds of the songs, and that some of the words actually came from bible verses.  We took a little time out of each hour to take prayer requests and then pray as a group.  In the Spring we provided an opening session at the beginning of programming, leading them in a worship song and providing a message.  We changed our curriculum to alternate 6 week sessions with our Children's programming, so we could have the whole 2 hours on Sunday night for the season of Lent.  We worked on prepared to perform with the adult choir's Easter Cantata on Palm Sunday through chimes, singing, and/or art.  We talked about what Lent really means, the symbols of Lent, stations of the cross, told the story of Jesus's love for us.  How He loves us enough that he would die for us.

Where we used to see a large drop off in attendance once the Christmas Musical was done, as most kids just wanted to be in the big performance, we had kids coming back to continue the experience of learning about God though art and music.  It was such a great experience for everyone because we were learning more during our preparation to teach the kids.

This past year during our Christmas musical, it really hit me that this is more than a musical.  We had a friend tell us that their family was dealing with a rough medical issue, and she should listen to one of the songs, "God has a Plan," in her car even when her kids weren't with her because it brought her comfort.  It's more than a musical.  We had a precious little boy that my friend and I have known for years that is diagnosed with a condition called Tuberous Sclerosis (to learn more about this condition, you can click on the link).  Due to the tumors on his brain, he has delays in his development, sensory processing issues, and seizures.  We weren't sure how much participation he could have in the musical as his attention strays easily and he is quite the busy body, but we were determined to have him up there.  He learned the songs with some hard work and repetition from practice at church and lots of practice at home, and he was able to participate in all the singing parts, which he did so joyfully!  It brought tears to our eyes.  It's more than a musical.  We had kids talk with their families at home about the concepts that we spoke about in practice.  It was really amazing to see how God worked in their little hearts (and in ours) to bring His word to life through song, acting, dance, and chimes.  It's so much more than a Christmas Musical.

This past Sunday following Easter, we celebrated Children's Sabbath.  This is a joint event between Children's Programming and Kids Music and Arts at our church.  Our Children's director assigned kids to do everything from greeting to serving communion.  We prepared the kids to sing three songs (two songs for worship and one special music piece for our exiting 5th graders - and one lone 4th grader :)  )  It was so amazing.  The kids didn't just get up and act cute to perform, they actually lead worship!  Some kids even chose to write their own prayers to say, instead of having the Children's Director provide them with one.  The kids understood the importance of the roles they were assigned and fulfilled them with grace.  People were commenting on how blessed they felt by the kids, and there were many a joyful tear from all throughout the congregation.  We felt the same way leading them!  It is hard to not to be awestruck when you see your son close his eyes and feel the words he is singing his solo during Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone. God can do so mighty things through the little people at our church.

So when you drop your kids off for children's music or are attending a performance, please remember that it is so much more than a musical.

To view our Children's Sabbath services or other services, you can click on the Live Stream links below:

First Frisco UMC Children's Sabbath 9:30 service
First Frisco UMC Children's Sabbath 11:00 service
First Frisco UMC Palm Sunday Easter Cantata
First Frisco UMC KMA Christmas Musical

For the Love of Book Launches!! (And giveaways!)

Hello and welcome to this stop along Jen Hatmaker's "For the Love" blog tour!  I am so excited that you are here, and I welcome you with open arms.  Please pull up a comfy chair, grab a cup of coffee, tea, wine, or whatever your choice is, and enjoy the read. :)

My journey with Jen started a few years ago when I did the 7 study with my Sunday School class.  I was hooked from that point!  From there I have read Jen's personal journey with the 7 experiment, Interrupted, and Out the the Spin Cycle devotional.  When I saw a post from Jen's Facebook page this spring with a sign up to be a part of the launch group for her new book "For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards," I thought, "why not?"  It stated that she was only taking 500 people, so I put down my coffee mug (which shows how serious I was) and  signed up immediately with hopes that I would make it, but not really expecting to.  Finding out later that 5,000 people had signed up to be a part of this launch, my expectations diminished further, but hope still held on, check my email neurotically, 5 times an hour.  Spring break rolled around,  and we left for our regular skiing trip in New Mexico where there is NO SIGNAL, I repeat, NO SIGNAL.  Apparently the whole town runs on one server, which didn't help my situation.  I would try and check my email during non-peak times to see if that email had come through yet.  As we were nearing the end of our vacation, I was checking my email one last time for the day, and there it was...

They may have heard my squeal all the way back to Texas.  I was in disbelief!!  I immediately downloaded our proof version, ran back to the bedroom for the peace and quiet, and began to read!  Thus began a life changing experience for me.  Not only did this book and Jen's oh-so-wise words make a difference in my heart, mind, and soul, but belonging to a launch team who laughed together, cried together, and prayed together.  What started as a Facebook group where we could discuss the book and the effect it has had on our lives, turned into a tribe of women (and a #bandoffour men) encouraging each other through this craziness we call life.  I am forever grateful and forever changed.

You guys this book!  This book is for everyone!  Yes it is marketed towards women, but the #bandoffour men on our launch team enjoyed it as well.  Jen's writes so beautifully and intimately that you feel like you are having a conversation with her.  You will feel like one of her close friends after the reading of this book (I still believe this is true. ) ;)  Jen hits everything in this book about showing and extending God's grace for everyone.  

She starts with having grace for ourselves.  I think that is the hardest.  It is so much easier to have grace for others while we sit and beat up ourselves constantly.  She will make you laugh, make your cry, and make you challenge your unrealistic expectations that you have for yourself in the very first chapters.  Here are some gems from this section.

Chapter 1: Worst Beam Ever (Image credit Crystal Santos)

Chapter 2: On Turning Forty (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 3: On Calling and Haitian Moms (Image credit Carlee Ann Easton)

Chapter 4: Fashion Concerns (Image credit Carlee Ann Easton)

Chapter 5: Run Your Race (Image credit Carlee Ann Easton)

Chapter 6: Not Buying (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 7: Tell the Truth (Image credit Krista Wilbur)

Chapter 8: Thank you Notes (Part 1) (Image credit Carlee Ann Easton)

The second section of the book is titled, "All These People Who Live in Your House."  Probably the second hardest people to have grace for because you live and deal with them.....ALL.THE.TIME.  #bless

Chapter 9: Hope for Spicy Families (Image credit Bethany Beams)

Chapter 10: Surviving School (Image credit Bethany Beams)

Chapter 11: Dear Kids (Image credit Jen Hatmaker)

Chapter 12:Marriage: Have Fun and Stuff (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 13: Jesus Kids (Image Credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 14: Thank-You Notes (Part 2) (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

The third section of For the Love covers those around us.  Those we know, and those we don't.  Those we like, and those we don't.  You also get some bonus tasty recipes for starting a supper club!  (You may notice that there is no quote from chapter 19 - that is the chapter that holds all the delicious recipes!)

Chapter 15: Supper Club (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 16: Porches as Altars (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 17: Quirky (Image credit Bridgette Cook)

Chapter 18: Difficult People (Image credit Krista Wilbur)

Chapter 20: Thank-You Notes (Part 3) (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

In the 4th and final section of the book, Jen writes about the grace in the church.  This includes, church leaders, congregations, and the people we serve.

Chapter 19: Poverty Tourism (Image credit Carlee Ann Easton)

Chapter 22: Dear Church... (Image credit Kelly Richards Smith)

Chapter 23: If Social Media Were Around (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 24: Thank-You Notes (Part 4) (Image credit Leslie Carlton)

Chapter 25: Dear Christians, Please Stop Being Crappy 

Chapter 26: On Women

I hope these little glimpses into each chapter give you a small idea of the awesomeness that is this book!  Jen encourages her reads to go forth and love well, receiving and sharing God's grace.  

I am so excited for today's release date, so I can actually talk with those around me in my day to day life about taking things #offthebeam, or about forgetting our messes and about opening our homes (and hearts) to others to share in this life with us.  We only get one, so it's really just a shame to waste it away waiting for that one day when we have it all together.

In celebration of For the Love's launch, I will be giving away 2 copies on my FB page, Breaking for Good.  Here are the steps to get into the giveaway.  

1.  Like the Breaking for Good Facebook page (unless you already have).

2.  Share the post with the giveaway.  If you like and/or comment on the giveaway post that will give you one bonus entry.  Names will be drawn at 7:00 tomorrow evening (Texas time :) )

I hope that you enjoy this book as much as I have, and it inspires you just the same.  To visit other blogs of launch team members about the book, you can visit the For the Love blog tour page.

For the Love of Friday

So anyone who knows me, knows that I am over the moon to be in the launch group for Jan Hatmaker's new book, For the Love, Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards.  I have been reading and rereading this book since March, and I cannot get enough of it.  I am so excited that soon it will be in the hands of everyone, so we can talk about it!!!

One of the ladies in the launch group has started a Friday Five post, and this Friday she has chosen to to do top 5 quotes from the book.  Mrs. Disciple has actually opened it up to all the For the Love Launch team to connect our blogs to hers, so we can have one large blog event and get to see everyone's take away from the book.

I wasn't sure I was going to be able to blog today due to my son's birthday party this evening.  He planned quite a night that kept us busy all evening, but now they have retreated upstairs to play Catan, so I am taking a moment to breath and write. :)

It's so hard to just pick 5 quotes.  I have about 5 quotes underlined per page in some chapters.  Thee is just so much goodness here.  It's like picking a favorite ice cream.  Really???  I just like them all.  Ice cream is my favorite ice cream.  That being said I made the painful cuts, and here are my top 5:

1.  "Folks who thrive in God's grace give grace easily, but the self-critical person becomes other-critical."  Guys this is just in the intro.  You haven't even dived into the chapters yet, and she hits you with this one!  I love and hate this at the same time because I constantly swing back and forth on this.  I never cared to look for the cause until I read this.  So much truth.  It opened my eyes to how I am receiving God's grace and how that directly relates to how I give grace to others.  Talk about "aha" moment.

2.  "Balance.  It's like a unicorn: we've heard about it, everyone talks about it, and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one.  I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing."  LOL!!  This one came from Chapter 1: The Worst Beam Ever, and it had me rolling for a little while.  I love how she puts it.  The 80s girl in my could totally visual the unicorn jumping through the air, mane blowing in the breeze with the rainbow in the background.  I am sure I had one of the shirts.  This balance thing we constantly talk about, strive for, and think others have achieved.  It's all imaginary.  As soon as you think you have all your ducks in a row, something falls out of place, and you are starting all over again.  Maybe it's time to start a new goal.

3. "You are smart and able, and getting older is not a tragedy."  This comes from Chapter 6 - Not Buying. In this chapter, Jen talks about how the world is trying to sell us things based on the fact that we need them to make ourselves beautiful, make life easier, or keep us from aging.  The commercials fill our heads with how each product will make our lives better with their product.  It also gets in our kiddos heads.  My own daughter looking at my face the other day said, "Mommy you should get that cream from the commercial.  It will make your skin flawless!"  Nothing like a child's honesty to humble your perspective, but it also shows that this commercial taught her that if mommy's skin isn't perfect (not that I thought it was too bad), it can be made "flawless" with their cream.  Wow.  How did our grandmother's ever survive?   We should celebrate our abilities and not take the easy way out each time.  We should also celebrate aging and getting older.  It is taken so for granted, as this is not a guarantee for anyone.

4.  "Every parent blows it.  Every kid comes unhinged.  Every family goes off the rails.  That doesn't mean we are ruined: it means we are ordinary." This quote from Chapter 9 - Hope for Spicy Families is right on for me and my family. My poor son is the only sweet member of our crazy foursome, and I think we have corrupted him a little bit.  Yelling, losing patience, and fits are a daily struggle, but so is apologizing, cuddling, and saying, "I love you."  Sweet with the spicy means our family is not dysfunctional, we are normal, and the sooner we accept this and stop putting on the perfect front, the sooner we can stop placing guilt on ourselves and just enjoy being who we are, spiciness and all.

5.  "Ironically, the more responsibility people take for their own spiritual development and their neighbor, the healthier they become - also, less resentful of the church, less dependent on the programming, and less reliant on the pastors."  In chapter 22 - Dear church...Jen writes to both areas of the church, the leaders and the congregation.  This quote hit me right between the eyes because truly for most of my life I looked to my pastors for spiritual guidance and growth.  Not to discredit this, as pastors serve as great shepherds, but at some point I need to take some responsibility in my walk with Jesus.  I had never pondered such things before. Taking responsibility for this ended up helping me to feel free instead of burdened.  You mean I can look outside my church for studies?  I can go to the bookstore with no recommendation and find a book that speaks to me spiritually?  Talk about feeling empowered and re-energized.

Like I said, this is really just a sip of what is the fire hose of life changing, laugh inducing, tear jerking goodness that is in the book.  The book released August 18th and is already on the shelves in Barnes and Noble, so For the Love go get it!!!

Convictions and Childbirth

My convictions do not have to be your convictions.

This was a point in a Priscilla Shirer study, Discerning the Voice of God, that one of my friends hosted this past year.  This point really stuck with me and has proven itself a useful in many instances in my life since then.  It has helped me to realize that my ways and truths are not the same as others.  That does make my thoughts, or others, right or wrong.  Mine are right for me, and others are right for them.

Recently this has been brought to my mind as my brother and sister-in-law had their first child a little over a week ago.  It has been a while since my kiddos were born, and I had forgotten all the preparation and stress that goes along with getting ready to have a baby.  One of the unspoken questions people have is the birth plan for the baby.  Most people probably assume that the mom-to-be will have the baby in the same fashion they did, just because that is what they know.  Assumptions and judgements can be made if the pregnant mom's plans do not match up with the expectations of the asker. Thus begins the start of mommy guilt, and the baby isn't even here yet! :)

Me after having my son almost 11 years ago!  We both look like babies. :)

Me with my daughter almost 8 years ago.

I have generalized childbirth into 3 general areas for this post in the sake of time.  We have the non-medical approach (home birth, birth center, and birth in hospital setting with no drugs), medical approach (hospital setting with epidural and/or other pain relieving drugs, possibly pitocin, etc), and c-section (pretty straight-forward per the name).  I realize that there are other ways of becoming a mommy that are just as amazing (adoption, foster, etc.), but today I am just writing about the 3.

My sister-in-law chose a non-medical approach of having their baby in a birthing center.  This was a new one for me, as she was the first person I had known personally to have their baby this way.  This was a great approach for her though, as that is the method she was familiar and comfortable with.  Hospitals make her uncomfortable,and she really wanted a more home-like environment,so they went with the birth center and a mid-wife.  The day of delivery came, and she soldiered through her labor like a champ, but unfortunately after many hours of pushing, it was determined that the baby was going to need a little more help to come out, so she was transferred to a hospital where they could use a vacuum to bring my nephew into the world.  Not her original plan, but along the way she was able to make choices that fit with her plan for having her son.

Women that choose to have their children in this fashion are rockstars.  They choose the way that the feel is best for them to have their baby.  They choose an environment that they feel is soothing and more home-like.  They choose to go through the pain of labor and child-birth as they feel it is the safest way for them and their babies.  They take time to write out birth plans to the tiniest detail as they dream about the way they want to lovingly welcome their child into their family.  They go to classes to learn about how to navigate the pain and exhaustion while staying focused on the task at hand. They seek out mid-wives who are experienced with this type of birth process to help them along the way. These women are brave and strong in my book.

I had my babies in a hospital setting with both pitocin and an epidural.  Both my kids came early due to pre-term labor, my son at 37 weeks and my daughter at 36 weeks.  I did not really have a birth plan other than I knew I wanted an epidural and to have a baby at the end of the process.  I knew that I didn't want to feel a lot of pain, for fear that I would panic and not stay focused on the process at hand.  I had always been this way, and before I was married, I had even thought of just having one or even adopting to avoid the pain of child-birth.  When the time of delivery came though, I was in the hospital with contractions 4-5 minutes apart (each time).  I got my epidural, they broke my water, and my babies were born soon after.  My births were pretty similar except my daughter needed a little vacuum assistance due to being "sunny side up," and I had a little bleeding issue that was quickly fixed my my doctor after the birth of my son.  I wouldn't change anything about the choices that I made to bring my kiddos into the world, as they were the choices that were right for me and my kiddos.

Women that choose to have their children in a hospital setting with the assistance of medicine, such as epidurals, pitocin, and others, are rockstars too.  The choose they way that they feel is best for them and their baby.  Maybe like me, they know that they do not have the pain tolerance to experience the full on pain of labor and still be effective.  They feel more comfortable in a setting where they and their baby can be monitored by a doctor and nurse throughout the process.  They let someone stick a long needle in their back (definitely not my favorite part), so they can be comfortable enough to endure labor in the best way for them.  These women are brave and strong in my book as well.

My mom had my brother and I via c-section.  Apparently I was too stubborn to cooperate (not too mention that I was already 2 weeks late, sorry mom!), and my mom couldn't dilate past an 2.  She was taken to the operating room to have a c-section.  This was 1980, so it wasn't the same as it is now where the dad can come in and be with the mom.  She had to go through this unplanned experience having her first child by herself.  The second time when she went into labor with my brother, she at least had an idea of what to expect (vbacs were definitely not a thing in 1982), and they were able to pull some strings, and my dad was able to at least be in the room for that one.  I am personally grateful for this type of birth because it is the reason I am here today.

Women that have c-sections (notice I didn't say choose b/c despite all the controversy, I have still yet to meet a mom who chose to have a c-section straight out) are also rockstars.  Some moms go in prepared knowing that they are having a c-section, while others are planning for one method of birth then told they will be doing something different.  Either way these mom's endure surgery, having a doctor cut their bodies open to ensure a safe delivery for their baby.  Not only do these mom's recovery from being pregnant and possibly hours of labor, they also get to recover from surgery all while adjusting to life with a newborn.  While those of us who have been longing to sleep on our stomachs get to do so, moms that have had c-sections are resigned to back sleeping for a few more weeks.  These women are also brave and strong in my book.

There is a common factor among all these methods.  We are all moms who want the best situation for us and our babies.  We are all doing what we feel is the right decision for us.  Another common factor is one mom's method of birth does not diminish or make another method right or wrong for another mom.  Why is it then that we feel the need to elevate one over the other?  That we talk about the risks or why our method is better than the others?  Do we not realize that even without meaning to, we say that you are not a good mom, you did not choose the best way for your child?  Even innocent comments about certain subjects (non-medical approach to birth is outdated, epidurals shouldn't be used just for mom's comfort, she should tough it out, and the overuse of c-sections) can cause hurt feelings and needless guilt.  We each have our journey into motherhood, and we should never make assumptions on other's decisions when we haven't walked the same path.

We should celebrate each other!  Motherhood is hard people.  We don't need to make it harder by making it a competition, especially from the start.  I would rather be in a community of moms that encourage each other despite our methods and possibly learn from each other rather than elevate ourselves by trying to prove other's choices wrong because they aren't the same as ours.  Remember, our convictions, so not need to be the convictions of others.  Maybe we should chose to speak to other moms with love and grace instead of judgement.