I don't want to be awesome #FortheLove

Awesome.  It's become a thing in our culture.  If you google just the word awesome, tons of images and memes pop up, some funny and some quite "interesting" to put it nicely.

Being "awesome" is a running joke in my house as my husband likes to claim it's pretty much woven into his DNA.  My son even has a shirt that just says #awesome, and we searched for one for my husband b/c my son only felt it was appropriate. (We didn't find one though.  His awesomeness will just have to radiate from his inner being instead of from words on his shirt).

Just recently though I received the motivation to stop being "awesome."

As I have posted previously, I was chosen to be on the launch time for Jen Hatmaker's new book, For the Love, which will be released in August.  I have already devoured the book that was sent to me.  I have laughed, been humbled and inspired, and even learned some new recipes!  For those of you who cry, you will probably cry too.  I am just not a crier.

In her first chapter in the book Jen talks about the pressure we put on ourselves to be everything to everyone and be great at everything.   I don't know about you, but this goes straight to my core.  I know that I feel pressure from every which way of my life to volunteer, make things, attend, support, etc.  I feel the need to do all things things asked from others (and from myself), but why?  If I am going to be honest here, sometimes it's because I want others to think that I can do it all, that I am talented, that I have it all together.  In reality, piling up these expectations does the opposite.  I am unfocused, my house turns into a bigger disaster area than it already is (which I am pretty sure is just a physical representation of how my brain looks), and I don't do anything well.  My husband and I have talked many times about when one of use is overstretched about how we feel that we are getting nowhere.  We are doing a bunch of "things" but we feel like we are failing at all of them.

In her book, Jen says, "We need to quit trying to be awesome and instead be wise."

Wise.

When I think of wise, I think of people who are experienced in years, who have been there and done that.  I think of certain long time members in our church, who I look up to.  When I think of them, I think of people who are God-focused.  They have their channels that they are plugged into and passionate about, and they don't have a problem saying no to those things that they know are for other people's gifts.

In another study that I am doing, The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst, she says, "we have to know that God is especially fond of filling the empty spaces.  God is a master at providing just the right thing at just the right timing."

Hello!  Wake up call!!!  I am not meant to be everything to everyone.  I am not meant to fill every volunteer spot.  I don't have to do everything at my house.  I don't even have to be everything to my children.  In doing that I am saying, "God I got this, I don't need to trust you to fill those empty spaces."  Yikes.

How about I just be wise, and instead let God be awesome?

Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?  Shouldn't God be the awesome one, and we can just give Him the glory?

Lesson learned.  Take stock of my commitments, be wise about what I am choosing, stop getting in the way of other people trying to use their gifts, and let God be awesome.

I bought ANOTHER Advent Devotional

The season of Advent is upon us.  Undoubtedly this is my favorite time of year.  The celebrations, the traditions, the movies, the food, all of it just makes me happy...most of the time.  I say that only because now that I am a grown up and a mom, there is a certain amount of stress and anxiety that comes with all of that too.  This is on my short list for what I am doing this month:

*Make sure that the angel gifts get bought, labeled, and delivered to each child's class (my son forgot to turn his in and didn't realize it until I pointed out that they were still in his backpack - luckily it wasn't the deadline yet).
*Buy gifts for family, friends, teachers, activity leaders, church staff, the DOG (yes I know - he is a family member in our eyes), and whoever else I suddenly remember last minute...depends of if I can turn off my shopping gene.
*Decorate our new house, and since it's a new house, of course we need a new tree, new decorations, etc. b/c the old ones just didn't look right, or we needed decorations for a banister, which we didn't have in the old house (I know, I know, my eyes are rolling at myself as I type this).  Also try to keep puppy from eating all decorations, including the elf.
*Celebrate my husband's birthday (has nothing to do with Advent other than it falls in the season).  It's a big one though, so we need to do it right.  You only turn 35 once!
*Volunteer at our local Family Services organization to help with gift distribution.
*Baking.....lots and lots of baking.
*Do daily (yes daily) activities which I planned out myself for our family Advent activity calendar.  Some are easy and helpful (put stamps on Christmas Cards) and some I am wondering if I just like to punish myself (painting ornaments - this will inevitably end up with someone mad that their ornament didn't turn out, they didn't find the color they wanted, spilled water cups with diluted paint running all over the table).  To add to that, we also have the chocolate Advent calendars, and the Lego Advent Calendar.
*Prep and co-direct our children's Christmas musical at church.  This has been in the works since August.  This last month is the putting it all together, getting the props, costumes, gifts for helpers, final rehearsals and finally the final show with a gift drive for the teens and elderly in the community.  This pretty much dominates my weekends in December.  Luckily I have a partner in crime that shares my stress...I mean joy! ;)
*Parties - oh the parties.  They really are fun, but at some point I am just glad when they are all done.  We have Sunday School parties, Children's Programs parties, Bible Study group parties, school parties, and work parties.  Like I said they are all fun, but being an introvert by nature, I am exhausted by the end of the month, and I just want to crawl into my bed and watch Dancing with the Stars/Greys Anatomy/Parenthood/Blacklist episodes all day.
*Almost forgot the elf!  Now we don't have the traditional elf on the shelf.  Our elf Charlie even looks different.  He just comes to share in the joy of Christmas with us, so my kids are able to touch, hold, and even play with the elf.  When he comes, they immediately start showing him all the holiday decor that is up, and this year my daughter even had him sleep with her the first night he arrived.  Now with that comes sporadic movement.  He moved 2-3 times today just due to the kids wondering if he would move while they were gone.  But he doesn't always have to move at night either.  I am not sure if it makes it better or not.  The true challenge this year, as I stated above, is keeping our puppy who likes to chew everything to bits away from Charlie.  There have been some close encounters, and he even had him in his mouth one time (I thought my daughter was going to lose her mind), but so far so good.

On top of this, we have all the family get togethers.  Now this is my favorite part.  Seeing all my family, eating delicious food, and just enjoying each others company.  We go to see family in Fredericksburg, TX the weekend before Christmas, then Christmas Eve we go to Denison to see more family.  Christmas Day we stay home and any family that wants to come over can do so and celebrate, but I am pretty much not getting out of my pajamas until after noon that day.

All this being said I was wondering if I was a glutton for punishment or just plain crazy when I saw an Advent devotional while browsing through Mardel's this evening.  I was actually looking for the devotional that our Sunday School class is doing, but they didn't have it.  I decided that I would just buy the other one on my Nook.  Since my husband had taken the kids to martial arts class, I decided I would browse around a little bit.  I kept coming back to the same devotional, Waiting Here for You.  I don't know if it was the song that kept coming to my head, or what, but I knew I wasn't leaving the store without purchasing it.  While in the store I kept telling myself that maybe I was over doing it.  I have the Advent devotional from Sunday School, we are doing the Jesse Tree as a family, and I also have the bible verses each day with our family activity.

When I got in the car, it hit me.  How silly I was to think that one more Advent study might be too much.  The season is about preparing ourselves for the coming Christ.  When I look at my schedule, how can I NOT make room to draw nearer to Him, to prepare my mind, heart, and soul for Him?  If anything else I NEED another Advent study.  All the other events of this month can take over and skew my priorities.  Not that any of them are bad, but they pull my thoughts and my time away from the true importance of this season.  A long, long time ago, I am pretty sure that Mary wasn't worried about lugging their tree on the back of that donkey, and the Wise Men themselves only brought only one special gift each for Jesus.  For Jesus, the Savior, Prince of Peace, son of God the Father.  And that was enough.  So while I am feeling the need to go out and buy one more present or decorate one more area of our house, instead I will try and fill my time with His word and preparing myself for the celebration His birth.

Happy Advent. :)