I am already hungry

Ok, so it is day 1 of my Food fasting week, and I am already hungry! (And also already whiny.)  For those who are just tuning in, I have started the study, The 7 Experiment; Staging Your Own Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  I am hosting the study on the Breaking for Good facebook site, and we just finished the intro and reading week 1.  We each decided how we would go about our food fast, since no two have to be alike.

For some reason poverty in my own community has been on my heart recently.  I have been trying to be more involved with a group called Fast Pacs, which provides food over the weekend to children in the public schools here in Frisco.  It's hard to think that in such an affluent area that we have children, MANY children, who might go all weekend without a meal.  Frisco Fast Pacs literally packs grocery bags with donated food and gives them to the schools to send home with the kiddos on Fridays.  Last year my kiddos and I participated at a pack, and it was awesome to see many people coming together and giving up their time to make sure the kiddos don't have to go hungry.  In the past I have also worked with families that are at or below the poverty line.  Many of them struggling to work, take care of their kiddos, and make ends meet, it would just break my heart.  I realized that even at our "poorest" point, I never had to go through that.  This led me to choose my fast.  I looked up how much the SNAP (food stamps) amount would be for a single person in Texas. The monthly amount was $189.  I divided it by 4 (4 weeks) to get $47.25.  That became my food budget for the week.  I could not buy any more food/drink than that $47.25 would get me.

At first I thought it would be so easy!  It's just me eating, and I can shop smart.  Then I actually started shopping.  Got a couple soups that would each last me two meals, got some jugs of water (b/c yes I am a water snob), got coffee and creamer (b/c that is a staple people!), and went on to get the rest of my items.  What started off as so easy became harder and harder as the shopping trip went on. Keeping up with the prices of everything, and trying to make sure that I had somewhat of a balance with the food, it was making me a little crazy by the end.  I finally finished and rang out with $42.03.  I figured that gave me a dollar or two if I needed it later in the week.

Here was my stash at the end of the shopping trip.

I thought I had done pretty well until I realized...I had no snacks.  Luckily the cereal doubled well as a snack, but not quite the same.  Oh well.  Lunch was a tasty peanut butter and banana sandwich, and afternoon snack was a handful of cereal and an orange.  For dinner I had some of the soup and two pieces of dry toast.  Then I had another piece of bread...because I was still hungry!  That was a running theme today in that I ate, but it was always enough just to take the edge off.  I am used to being basically a glutton when I want, but today I had to walk the line of eating enough to give my body some fuel, but also remembering that this food has to last me all week.  

It was an interesting situation this evening, I was trying to figure out what to have after dinner before the last piece of bread.  Feeling frustrated and a little envious of my children who were chowing down on mango and chicken nuggets with ketchup at the dinner table, I thought of how silly it was.  While I have made this my fast for the week it is not my reality.  If I really wanted to just break down and have something else I could.  Then I thought this is really someone's reality.  Making the food last all week because it they ran out too soon there would b nothing left until the next week.  Having bare pantry and an empty refrigerator.  This overwhelming humbling feeling came over me as I thought of those people.  It gave me a chance to not only say thank you for what I have been blessed with, but also to pray for those who are truly hungry tonight, tomorrow and every night.  Those bellies that are not full.  The mamas who have to hear their kiddos cry about being hungry and not being able to give them anything to eat.  

It doesn't just humble me though it makes me want to spring to action.  What can I do?  What is my part in this?  God how do you want to move through me during this time?  I am already hungry...to hear your call.