I had to teach this lesson to my kiddos about 4 years ago. I knew it was coming sooner or later. My son was 7 years old and my daughter was 4. We had been invited to go out to the lake on our friends boat for the day. It sounded like a great idea...until I realized that I would have to get in said lake.
I would much rather do many other things than set my toe in lake water. People who know me well, know that I fear lake water with it's murky depths. I know to many people this is ridiculous. I even know in my sound part of my brain that this is nothing to dread. However in that little anxiety ridden part of my brain the alarms and sirens are going off. DANGER! DANGER! Have you ever seen that Hostess Ding Dong commercial where the shark thinks the lady in the inner tube with the unfortunate bathing suit is a tasty snack treat? Well I am convinced that the snakes (and anything else that might bite) look at my reflective white thighs and think that they would also make a tasty treat. I scream when the strap of my life jacket brushes my leg thinking it is some swimming creature with teeth trying to sneak up and take a bite! Plus who really enjoys feeling squishy slimy lake floor on the bottom of their feet. Blech. I really am a big baby, and I own this. I am ok with this.
However with my children out on the water that day, I looked at them, and I didn't want to teach them that fear. I wanted them to be able to enjoy the lake, swimming and tubing without fear. So I made up my mind, while I would have been completely happy hanging out and relaxing on the boat (although I am not a lake person, I am totally a boat person), I would get in the water. Not only would I get in the water, I would do so without screaming as though an anaconda were right next to me (even thought I fully believe it could have been). It took a little bit of time spent on the edge of the boat internally psyching myself up.
Finally I took the plunge (literally) and got in. I floated around with my kids cheering them on, so I could keep my mind off the inevitable swarm of carnivores circling me. After awhile I felt more comfortable and even, wait for it, enjoyed myself a little bit! I shocked myself! Not that I have jumped into many lakes since then, but I was proud that I didn't pass that fear down to my kiddos without allowing them to experience it first.
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| This is when we first got in. The smile is one of sheer terror, but she couldn't tell. :) |
I was thinking about that the other day, and it made me realize how many times I do this when expressing my faith around my kiddos. Now it's not that I don't express my faith at all. I am on staff with our children's program at church, I help lead VBS, and I do children's sermons at Sunday services, so they hear me teaching on a regular basis, but I feel so unequipped at times to talk to them just at home about our faith and Jesus. I let my fear get the best of me, and I avoid the topic when I know it is being put in front of me. I don't want to steer them wrong. I don't want to sound silly. So many excuses.
I have to get out of the boat (my easy safe zone) and jump into the water. I may be faking confidence at first, I may be terrified about how my words are received, but again I don't want my kids to grow up with a fear of not being equipped to talk to someone about their faith. I want them to grow up with the confidence to talk about and express their faith freely.
I have to admit, I did this about as slowly as I got into the lake water. I started with devotionals that we would read, and I would also ask them what they thought about the children's sermon or the Sunday School lesson that day. I was often surprised at how wise the little ones of mine were despite my failings to intentionally talk about these things. I realized how much they truly caught from our daily life and activities of living out our faith, while not always speaking about it. Finally I started taking advantage of those situations that I know God was putting out there are learning experiences. Taking their questions a little further than the easy cookie cutter answer and asking them their thoughts. Pushing them a little further as I pushed myself alongside them.
I am still such a work in progress. I don't always preach what I practice (yep I wrote that right) and if you ask me to pray out loud, something other than a memorized prayer or creed, I might just pretend to pass out just to get out of it. That's ok though, I am still working through it. I am getting out of the boat slowly but surely. What is getting out of the boat for you? Praying with your kids? Taking them to church for the first time? Thinking about the possibility of Jesus's incredible love for you? Whatever it is go for it! Not only will your children learn and grow, you will too! God's will never takes you where His grace can't follow.
